The lesson I needed to learn.

  Life was never cruel.  In life was the lesson I needed to learn, I just did not know it, or want to learn it, until I learned it!  

  I needed to learn to stand on my own, emotionally.  And on good days I can. ( Thankfully I have a lot more good days then not.)

  Whatever we love the most, it seems we are made to learn to live without.  This is to teach us about love without attachment, or clinging, or desperation.

   The goal is love, minus addictions.

  I thank God for the beautiful people, words of kindness, and all other miracles that grace my life, regulary.  What a gift!  Without heartache, I may never have noticed the personal, vested interest and compassion God has for me.

Longfellow quote

   “Into all our lives, in many simple, familiar, homely ways, God infuses this element of joy from the surprises of life, which unexpectedly brighten our days, and fill our eyes with light.”  Longfellow

   I am so thankful for God and His/Her many surprises, many small and subtle, some obvious and grand.  They all light up my life!  How does God shine the light in your life?

Daily Miracles

   Daily miracles occur in my life since getting on the path of “letting go.”  These miracles, or winks from the universe, give me comfort, guidance and support, so I keep the faith, and keep hanging in there! 

   This path and the miracles that go with it, have made me aware of an underlying order in life, in spite of outward appearances of pain, strife, and chaos.  How beautiful and miraculous it is to think we are linked to all things at the heart, mind, and soul level, with God orchestrating the whole thing!  Because we have separate physical bodies, confined to the experiences of its 5 senses, its hard to imagine that our apparent separation is the illusion.  But it’s true by gosh, we’re all one!  With an open, forgiving heart, allow love and intuition to light your way.

Spirituality chooses us?

        The conscious spiritual path is not an easy one.  I am on it out of necessity.  If I were not on it I simply would be miserable.  I can see why this is really not something we can or would actually choose for ourselves.  Rather the path is chosen for us at the proper time in our spiritual growth.  Early on I fought it tooth and nail!  Today I need prayer, I need a savior, I need to live with honesty and truth as much as I need air.   

       What I need to let go of is any judgement or intolerance for others at different points in their spiritual growth.  God moves us each along when we’re ready.  Those at lower levels suffer most, or will suffer as they begin to move up the spiritual ladder towards greater healing.  Compassion is what they will need, not judgement.  Since the only way out is through, they have a long road ahead.  Luckily I believe in a God of mercy, compassion and grace.

Student of Life

         I am a “student of life” on a spiritual path of letting go of my ego, (pride, fear and selfish desire.)  So as to live in a state of peace, hope, joy, faith, love and light, as a whole person who is aware of my connection to God and all others.  To trust my life in God’s hands and let Him/Her pilot my plane with less resistance and more acceptance from me.  My job is to sort out my ego desires from my true heart desires (by checking my motives.)  Then slowly allowing my ego to fall by the wayside, until my plane is driven by pure love alone. 

        If there is peace, hope, faith, light and love in my heart, then I am “flying right,” fueled by pure love.  No matter what my life looks like on the outside, no matter what others think of me, in spite of outside appearances.  

      Once fueled by love, I will fly in the direction of God’s highest will for my life.  My job is to align myself with God’s holy will.  How so?  Simply drop my ego.  Not so simple!  I’ll take it one day at a time. 

“Why are you happy?”

“The awakened person answers, “Why not?  Life is easy, life is delightful.  It is only hard on your illusions, your ambitions, your greed, your cravings.”

I love this quote.  I have it hanging on my refrigerator.  Don’t remember who said it but it has much wisdom.  It’s really about letting go of our ego’s, I think.

Lesson of the day.

     “Some things must go wrong for the right things to go right.”  I know I’ve heard this somewhere, and it’s a good reminder.  It truly helps with the letting go process.  My job is to simply allow, and trust that a power greater than myself is working things out for the highest good.  The situation in Haiti really helps me to put any of my own personal problems in  true perspective.  May God’s blessings rain down on them.

Question of the day

  ” Does action matter more than intention,or vice versa?  That’s just a question I’ve pondered lately so I wanted to throw it out there to the universe,and to anyone in cyberspace who has any thoughts on the matter.  I’d like to believe good intentions matter a lot because I’ve often had good intentions or tried to do things that never panned out in the end.  This makes me sad, but I really do hope intentions count for something. 

“How to be happy when my ego isn’t.”

   This could be a book title.  Who knows!  Anyway just playing with this thought and came up with 7 reasons I feel happy regardless of what my ego thinks I want.

1. Really enjoy sharing true feelings.  (I get a charge, like taking any other risk would give.)

2.  Connecting with God becomes most important goal.

3. Choosing to be my whole, real self over just doing what I think others would want me to do.

4. Realizing I could be happy in a shoebox or even on the “bad days.” 

5. Having a clear conscious.  Refusing to beat myself up but admitting my faults.

6. Forgetting to follow fashion or anything else that may be “in” at the moment is freeing, relaxing, and much more fun.

7. …Following my own heart and soul, instead.

This list could keep going and going.  Maybe one day I’ll keep writing till I have a book!  Truthfully though, when my ego kicks into high gear and knocks me for a loop right on my butt because I am not living up to my own ego’s small, judgemental and limited standards, I will remember this list.  And I will remember my life is good, very, very good regardless of what my ego thinks.

Making progress

    Today I don’t get “stuck” as long in any emotions, but all emotions still run through me.  That’s a big change and growth.  I’m feeling feelings but not clinging, or they are not sticking for some reason, particularly anger.  That’s progress!

Trick to being positive

Focus on what I do have and can do, and all I am.  This naturally frees me to let go of any troubling thoughts of  my lack.

Awareness of Balance

I’m really being made aware of the importance of balance lately: 

*Seeing lot’s of balanced #’s on digital clocks-especially during early morning hrs. (3:23, 4:54, 11:11-for example).

*I feel joy most when I can successfully balance my inner world (insights, dreams and discoveries), with outer world (physical activity and material life). 

*My job at Doctor’s office, being with children, being in nature, and physical activity offer me balance through grounding.

*I like to balance Easetern and Western philosophies.

*I’m slowly bringing subconsious to consciousness, in a balanced, careful way.  God guides my way for perfect time and pace.

Letting Go Means “Checking In”

On my spiritual path of balancing, I find many things, daily, that I need to let go of.  Sometimes I know quite clearly what is bothering me.  Other days I need to get quiet and “check in”; am I exhausted, angry, lonely, obsessive, or out of balance in some other way?  The first step to letting go is awareness.  I can’t let go of what I don’t know I’m clinging to!  Every attempt at letting go, no matter how small, leaves me lighter, clearer, more peaceful and serene.  Does it last?  No, not for long, but that’s why I keep at it.  I keep letting go, sometimes many, many times in one day.  Just stopping to catch a negative thought go by and change it to a positive one is the simplest way of letting go.  Or stopping to breath.  Stop and think, is there something right now I need to let go of?

Food for Thought

*Getting quiet and still leaves nothing, only emptiness.  In nothing is everything.  So few people are apt to believe this.  Or fear it could be true for everyone but themselves. 

*On Bones-TV program last night, a psychic confronts the intelligent, and beautiful leading lady, Bones on her love life, or lack thereof.  Reading her cards the psychic says, “You were an abandoned child, and the only question you can’t answer today is… why would someone love me?”      (Hmmm, Deep.)

*The dreamer in me is the dreamer in you.  We are all one at our Christ Conscious core, or Love center.  That’s how we connect.

*Prayer-  I am free and I free others to live a peaceful existence; without desire of other people, places or things,  but desiring God’s world of spiritual everything instead.  (The ultimate goal of “letting go”)

Let go and pray

Praying means risking not getting the answer that we wished.

Faith is trusing it’s the perfect answer, whatever it is.

Tips for Letting Go.

We need survival skills to function in our competitive, patriarchal society with all its disfunction; shame, blame, control, hate, fear, denial, disassociation, deprivation, just to name a few.  You could say I’ve been on a path of recovering and reclaiming in myself, all that modern society has deemed unworthy and unvaluable; love, cooperation,compassion, creativity, expression, connection, awareness, acceptance, to name a few. 

Our patriarchal world is fueled by fear and so we must use compassion and forgiveness to rise above “the status quo” of just more of the same.  Hate fuels hate, fuels anger, fuels revenge, on and on, and the unbreakable Karmic path is set… 

unless we let go, of hate and anger, by first letting go of fear and replacing with trust in Love, and having faith in God’s grace.   Even letting go of justified anger and rage is essential for our growth.  How do we do it?

*Sending a heartfelt prayer to those trapped in fear based thinking and behaving.

*Making a hearfelt effort to focus on my own health and recovery by releasing any unloving thoughts and behaviors.

*Asking heartfelt forgiveness of all that is unloving in me, no buts, or excuses.

*Being loving and protective of myself with as much kindness as I can muster for all involved.

 *Letting go of a desire for power and the need to be right.

 These steps lead us to a path back to God or Love.

We want power when we fear loss.  But by letting go and replacing fear with faith, step by step, moment by moment, we rise above and succeed!

TBTG (Thanks Be To God)  Amen.

A New Era

         Power over others may have worked in the past, but I can feel it “the times they are a changin.”  Welcome to the new age of self empowerment through love.  Letting go of everything (other than peace and love), is the path towards greater and greater empowerment.  And if you think being peaceful, loving and humble is weak, it’s not.  There is hope for the day.  Empowerment is building our strength up through the power of God, the One and only true power.   

Letting go of appearances

Letting go of obsessions with the outer appearance of things, frees me to focus on higher spiritual things.

12 Step Groups for Spiritual Warriors

12 step groups are a perfect means of guidance and support for spiritual warriors.

Don’t we all have something we need to let go of that has power over us?  This thing could be a feeling inside. 

Spiritual warriors find God by going within.  By going within we seek out and find our own angels and demons.  And with the help of God and our angels we face down those demons, and slay them with loving acceptance then let go with gentle ease.

For those brave enough to forge their own spiritual path boundless rewards await!

New Mantra

I let go of compulsive busyness with a new mantra… Whatever I do is good enough!

Forget happiness, seek joy.

*Life is not about chronic happiness all the time, it’s about the joy of being alive, through all the ups and downs.

*It’s about staying on track and keeping the faith , no matter what the visible rewards.

*It’s building an inner reservoir of character, integrity, strength and faith.  Doing good because it’s the right thing, not because your ego wins a prize.

Sounds dull and boring?  Opening the gateway to the entirety of God’s kingdom is anything but!

Lost In Your Eyes

        “I love the me that I see in your eyes. ”   It’s so easy to get lost in other people’s eyes.  Outside approval is fun and cute and nice but not to be counted or depended on.  The path is ultimately about finding the good in me, which is the God in me.

         God, You are the Light which loves, fills, sustains and fulfills us all!

         I am, and my life is in God’s perfect, constant care, all the time, inspite of any appearances to the contrary.  Appearances beg for ease and perfection every moment.  God wants whatever is necessary for my soul’s rebalancing to reach its highest level of good. 

         But I want things to go my way now and all the time! 

      God doesn’t give up at good enough, God wants perfect truth, love, and awareness residing in my soul.  The truth is I am, we all are, the perfect love of God already inside.  I just need to really know this, and that takes time.

The Gift of Dis-ease

If dis-ease is in my life then I need to search long and hard to find the gift in that.  A correction needs to be made or it would not be there, even if that correction is more love and forgiveness.  There are no victims of dis-ease.  If I see victims then dis-ease has won!  With God there are no victims.  God triumphs over disease, always. 

God allows dis-ease in our life if it could teach us something, if there would be a gift for us there.  No other reason.  God is master over all things, even dis-ease.  If I believe in victims and trust in the debilitation and evil of dis-ease then I’ve allowed disease to win and have little faith in God.  Joy, hope and peace are signs of my trust in God, no matter what dis-ease may be in my life. 

For me, my current disease (bad cold) is a wake-up call for greater faith and more balance in my life.  I let go of feeling like I don’t have enough (time, resources, energy) to do all the things I need and want to do.  God and the Universe support and sustain me, and everything is happening in divine order for the highest good of all involved.  Mantra “I have plenty of time to do everything I need to do, and whatever I do is good enough!”

Great Meditation

Heard this meditation today and loved so much wanted to share.

On the in breath-

“Breathe in the mystery.” (What God wants for me).                               

On the out breath- 

“Breathe out my history.” (What I need to let go of from my past). 

Breathe slow and deep, and repeat for as many breath’s as wish.

Mantra of the day

I am forgiven so I am free to forgive other.

There is so much today and yesterday I’ve wanted to do for others, but I can’t do it all.

I am forgiven.

There are things I do and have done that are hurtful to others, and I do not want to do.

I am forgiven.

The gift of forgiveness allows me to inturn release all judgements of others.  (Pause, bow head).  Now is the time for peace.

 

Gratitude for the day

I’m grateful for:

Good health

Time for good connection with family

Time for connection to God

Safe, comfortable home

Security and resources

Opportunity to gorw  and spread my wings, if I dare

Sunshine

Rest

Gratitude keeps me in a frame of mind of abundance.  By being thankful for what I have, I let go of dwelling on feelings of lack.

Quote for the day

“People are doing the best they can, given their level of awareness” Deepok Chopra

Give up all pedastals

                Allowing  someone to put us way up high on a pedastal means placing our own sense of worth on very shaky ground.  This platform will come crashing down in time.  Keep both feet planted on the ground, grounded in God’s love for us.  God knows all and loves us in our complete humanness.  Brush off, laugh off, blow off any lofty estimations of who we are, and we will be forever safe and forever free!  Folly is also putting someone else on a pedestal, and banking all our money on it.   

         Begin living life from our own center, today.  From there we shall never be deserted, abandoned, rejected, neglected, or left for dead.  But we will always be loved!

Letting go of addictions

               I have a crazy notion that maybe we all came down to earth to heal?  Here to heal our addictions to “whatever” is our addiction of choice.  Why else would any one of us want to come down to this ungodly place unless we were serving some false god that drew us here?  I mean, floating around in heavenly bliss somewhere would be much more appealing.  Hence why so many of us on the planet are completely miserable. 

            Fighting our addictions to false gods is then our ultimate goal.  That means “letting go” of everything, to find our way home (to God and heaven).  Can you let go of everything??  Can I?  Even letting go of my desire for fixing or changing people, for hot fudge sundaes,  for things going my way most of the time, for secretly wishing to be adored?  Can I let go of seeking elsewhere to find God; the fulfiller and sustainer of all my needs?  For God is only inward and upward, that which is outward( people, places and things), are God’s beautiful creations, not to be confused with God the One creator of all.  In God’s time we all find our way back home.

Releasing past pain

            I can be seperate of the child I was, and all her loves and pains, and not desert her.  I can hold her lovingly, compassionately in my arms, knowing I am a grown adult now, with different healthier needs, loves, and wants.  I no longer need to live out her pain.  She needs to weep, so I hold her, but I am not her.  I am seperate from her.  I am grown.

Our way back home

        In time we learn, only God can give us what we need; the ultimate human lesson.  God gives us the careers we need, the lovers we need, the friends and children we need, the family we need, the personal gifts we need…all to ultimately get us back home to God’s kingdom in the gentlest way possible.

Thanks for imperfection

            If everything were perfect and right in the world, we’d never seek God.  I’d never have gone inward and found my art, my dreams and my insights.  Finding the beauty inside me was God’s will, not mine.  I thank God for caring about my well-being, first and foremost. 

            In my imperfection sometimes I need to scrape myself up off the ground and try, and not stop trying whether I succeed or fail.  Because trying, in and of itself  increases self-esteem.  Trying means living.

Releasing judgements

     It is not wise to condemn ourselves or others for being perfectly human.  Human means imperfect so the most we could ever hope to be is perfectly imperfect! 

      Some are unaware,

     Some are aware but do not care,

     Some know, and are not proud, but keep

                                                messing up anyway.

  We all bounce back and forth on the spectrum of awareness, depending on the day, our mood, the circumstances we find ourselves in, our level of healing. etc…

  It’s OK, we’re human!  God loves us anyway.

“If you turn it over,(to God), without letting go, you end up upside down” 12 step slogan

God is Love (with a capital L).

              God is just another word for Love, and our Higher Power is just something greater than ourselves to give our life over to.  Hopefully the HP we are giving ourselves to is Love (with a capital L), and not that which is selfish, self-serving love, (or love with a small l). 

              Love (with a capital L), is …patient, accepting, kind, judgement free, honest, true beauty, humble, wise and grateful, to name a few. 

              The only responsiblility/job I have is releasing all that is not God/Love within me.  Releasing all that is selfish love; all that separates, hides, masks the Love within ( all my smoke and mirrors); such as… impatience, agitation, irritation, aggression, meanness, frustration, superficiality, judgement, degradation, fear, shame and pride.

               I cannot take credit for who I am, I can only take credit for what I’ve let go of to let God’s Love shine through.  And even that I cannot take full credit, since I could not go through the letting go process without God’s love and grace.  He/She initiates healing and directs my path every step of the way.  This means picking me up and getting me back on track when I’ve fallen.  My free will is in choosing how many times I will fall, or rather deny the awareness’ I have been graced with having thus far.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

                   I am amazed by God’s loving expressions moving through me.  By being able to clearly look upon the beauty of God’s expression within, without pride, shame or fear, I can release needing, depending, and counting on someone else to tell me I’m OK.  God is good.  I am Love, as we all are.

“Fire in the Belly”

        Indigestion, and stomach issues- a multi-generational disposition to burying our anger?  Highly passionate, strong-willed, lacking patience and faith, not trusting the process, feeling entitled, filled with energy, sexuality, and talent, high frustration level, lack of gratitude, self-centered, lacking faith in self, feeling victimized, feeling powerless, lacking self initiative, highly sensitive and fearful of rejection, not a risk taker.  A life held back.  “gassed up and ready to go”… nowhere? 

         But what do I desire?

         What’s my motivation?

          Do I wish for outward attention and affection?  (That’s just the 3 year old still alive inside).

          Wishing to help others, for the sake of helping others frees me.  To share my gifts, my talents and my love with no wish to receive in return-  this is the healthy, adult way to live and love.

           It seems God still wants me to find deeper levels of His/Her love in me, because I still desire more.  I need to be all I am seeking to get in the world, no matter what my age.  Seeking means I’m lacking.  Going outward in the world with love only to give (no strings attached), is a sign of reaching greater levels of healing. 

          Relief for “Fire in the Belly“:

           “I can empower myself when I focus on that which I have the power to change.  I leave myself frustrated and angry when I spend time trying to control someone or something that is out of my power to control.”  Forum mag. Nov. 09          

          ***  (including the opinions of others.)

Today’s Mantra

    I am here to love, learn, and heal.

Craving Distractions

             I have to take a really hard look at my desires.  How many things do I really need?  There are things I may think I need but really I only want for an ego boost.  New shoes?  New haircut?  New handbag?  Things can act as distractions for my fears.  Over-spending, over-eating,  over-whatevering, instead of going inward and facing my fears and insecurities head on.  (Of the many things I want, but don’t need, include a various assortment of people, places, and things).  I’m not proud, but awareness is key.

Letting go is a process.

              To let go means I first know what I need to let go of!  The process of letting go is many, many layered, like an onion.  If there is a person, place or thing I need to let go of I often need to go deeper…  

                What is the charged feeling behind my need for such and such?  Why do I have such a charged feeling?  Have I been carrying this charged feeling around from childhood?  Why?  Could my charged feeling of desperate need be based on a false belief that I’ve had since childhood?  People, places or things in my present day life which I cling to are often signs or clues of something in my past I have not yet let go of.

                  Letting go isn’t always so quick and easy to do!  But it is a beautiful process.  I get the best results when I take it one day, one step at a time.  Going too fast, I fall on my face.  Not moving at all, I become overgrown with dust or rust.

Quote by Carl Jung

                This quote is just a confirmation of what I find to be so true; that awareness is key.  Knowing the truth is not something to fear, it’s the first step in letting go.

               “The unconscious is not a demoniacal monster, but a natural entity which, as far as moral sense, aesthetic taste, and intellectual judgement go, is completely neutral.  It only becomes dangerous when our conscious attitude to it is hopelessly wrong.  To the degree that we repress it, its danger increases.  But the moment the patient begins to assimilate contents that were previously unconscious, its danger diminishes.”  (YES, I agree)!  ” The dissociation of personality, the anxious division of the day-time and the night-time sides of the psyche, cease with progressive assimilation.  What my critic feared -the overwhelming of the conscious mind by the unconsious- is far more likely to ensue when the unconscious is excluded from life by being repressed, falsely interpreted, and depreciated.”   Very good deduction Carl Jung!

Quote is from page 181 from the book ,The Essential Jung by Anthony Storr, on the section of The Practical Use of Dream-Analysis. 

Meditation

   My breath is the life and love of God.

    The in-breath is God moving in me,

   The out-breath is God moving out,

     God is my first breath,

       My last breath,

        And every breath in between.

      The breath of God moving through me,

       is all I need.

Great Prayer!

I read this prayer on a website and loved it so much I wanted to share.  It expresses my greatest wish for myself and all humanity.

 

 THE GREAT INVOCATON

 From the point of Light within the mind of God

Let Light stream forth into the minds of men,

Let Light descend on earth.

From the point of Love within the Heart of God

Let Love stream forth into the Hearts of men.

May Christ (Unconditional Love) return to earth.

From the center where the will of God is known

Let purpose guide the little wills of men-

The purpose which the Masters know and serve.

From the center which we call the race of men

Let the Plan of Love and Light work out

And may it seal the door where evil dwells.

Let Light and Love and Power restore the Plan on Earth.

   By Margaret Loris  www.sunhealer.com

The spiritual path of letting go

              Letting go is a spiritual process which gives my life purpose.  Once I let go I may wonder, what’s left for me now?  In truth, I am left with far more than nothing.  I am left with nothing short of miracles; insights, vivid dreams, synchronicities galore, peace in my heart, wisdom, clarity and freedom, sweet freedom!  It is a process, but ultimately I’m lighter than a year or even months before.  I am blessed by the spiritual path of letting go.

The Loudest Voice

“The loudest voice is not necessarily the truest.”  Quote from book, The Courage to Change.

I’ve been in judgemental mode lately, focusing on my lack of organizational skills.  I have lot’s and lot’s of ideas which make me feel alive and happy, but I torment myself with a barrage of internal put downs for being, well, just a tad bit messy.  Oh well, what’s an artist and writer to do!  I mine as well give up judging myself by paying less  attention to that loudest, (most critical) voice within.

Comparing letting go to crucifixion

I read this interesting take on “letting go” that is profound and shocking, but also beautiful and resonates deep in my soul.  It confirms letting go as a process, not something that happens overnight.

“Rather than just confronting the total nothingness of spiritual truth in which the ego is annihilated, we give our conscious self something to hold onto, a ladder of ascent that can take us from the world of forms into the formless.  This idea of a spiritual identity is essentially a trick to help the ego to loosen its hold on the world.  The goal is to become “featureless and formless,” to lose every name until only His name remains…

But this process of annihilation takes time.  It is a gradual death.  It is said in the Upanishads that if you want Truth as badly as a drowning man wants air you will realize it in a split second.  But who wants Truth as much as that?  Before we surrender to the bottomless void that is beyond the mind we have to make the slow ascent that is our own crucifixion.”

The Bond with the Beloved  by Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee

Spiritual Beingness

             I am a being of Light and Love,

             Nothing more,

             Nothing less.

             There is only one Light and one Love,

             Steaming through us all.

             I have the capacity to do,

             Everything I need to do,

             And the potential to be,

             Everything I need to be.

             Yet in time…

             God promises so much more.

On balance

            Balance

            Balance

            Balance

       I’m getting gentle reminders of the need to

       regain balance in my life. 

       Grounding with deep breath in, and out, 

       Grounding with quiet meditation and stillness, 

       Stopping to listen to the wind rustle in the trees,

       to see and feel the change of season in the air, 

       To be a witness.

From Resentment to Gratitude

                  I’ve been having a little trouble with the idea of fully letting go of resentments.  But I was reminded recently (in reading an article called Forgiveness by Moriah Marston), that I chose all the people and situations that were ever in my life.  They are all part of my own soul contract. 

                 I’ve allowed all the people and situations that have entered my life for my own growth and healing. * (If this is true then I already came into the world with a lot of baggage; meaning past lives?  Could be?)  Anyhow, I need to really sit and meditate on that.  I chose.  I chose.  I can get mad, that’s natural, but ultimately I must accept all that is or ever was in my life.  It’s time to forgive others and forgive myself for allowing those hurtful situations. 

         Now I need to redirect my focus from resentment to gratitude, for the lesson and the gift.  How did that person or situation help me to heal in a way I might not have otherwise?  Yes, the healing process can be very painful at times, but looking at the BIGGER picture, getting healthier, happier and more whole is always best.

Path to Higher Christ Consciousness

           Respecting all people, places and things.

           Loving without clinging or attachment.

           Giving.

           Not desperately wishing, wanting, needing.

           Extending acceptance to others,

           Without expecting them to fulfill our hearts desires;

           An act of healthy, selfless love.

 

Self Love Wins

         It was in my nature to love you and hate me, and need you to confirm my goodness.  This rollercoaster ride that would lift me to such grand heights, and took me to devaluing lows, proved to be my demise.  Without someone to love and only my unloved self left staring back at me in the mirror… It was either die of total despair or begin that long, slow trek  up the ladder of self-love.

           Many years later and I’m still climbing.  God gave me the strength, the grace and the people I needed to keep me hanging on, if only by fingernails, many, many times, especially in the beginning.  God wanted me to know myself and know my soul so that I might treat it , and ask others to treat it with value, respect and honor.  In truth, I had never deemed my soul valuable enough to live.  It just wasn’t worth the effort, the struggle, the conflict with others, disappointment of others, etc.  Everyone else came first.  Thankfully, against my smaller will, God put an end to all my shenanigans.  He/She decided it was time for me to live, whether I liked it or not.

           I am so glad I have a Higher Power overseeing things and overriding my small will, for the deeper hidden Will of my heart and soul; the one in perfect alignment with God.  Having and knowing my own self is so much more rewarding and wonderful than any rollercoaster ride, any day.

Melody Beattie

   “Live today fully, expressing gratitude for all you have been, all you are right now, and all you are becoming.”

The Spiritual Path

     Getting honest,

     Getting clear,

     Taking responsibility for life choices,

     Giving up blame and shame,

      No more scapegoats for our pain.

      No more numbing denial,

       No more acting out,

       Or acting “as if,” we are better than.

       No more false pretenses or game playing,

       No more purposeful misleading.

       No more winning; coming out on top

       at the expense of another.

       No more using, abusing or shutting down.

       Now it’s time to live,

       Take stock,

       Bring our flaws, mistakes and unconscious acts to the table.

       Confession without guilt.

       Ready for conscious, healthy, balanced living,

       So we might finally help our human species evolve,

       And live as Beings of Light and Love,

        As One with our Creator and at peace with All things.

 

Poem of Thanks

   Looking out at the ocean today and feeling so peaceful, thoughts of gratitude filled me.

                          Thank You Lord,

                          You are a beautiful oasis,

                          In my life;

                          More vast and substantial,

                          Than the depth and breath,

                          of the endless stretch of sea.

More on gratitude

             Deeming anything as bad or wrong in my life is a judgement call.  Have I done this?  Yes, quite often.  When my peace or joy or plans get disturbed by some other person, place or thing it feels natural to vent and gripe about the injustice of it all.  But when I look back on my life, at the big picture, I get a new perspective on the perceived “wrongs” in my life.  The things that felt most wrong in my life turned out to be the greatest catalysts for change in me.  Sometimes I need more than a mere tap, I need a great big push from the universe to get me back on track.  

              Today I view my life as a spiritual path of healing and growth; a letting go process leading to more freedom and love than I ever imagined possible before certain people, places and things went drastically “wrong” in my life.  Coming from this perspective I can find more than acceptance, but even gratitude for my troubles, great and small.  I am called always to seek the lesson; what do I need to learn, what am I clinging to, needing,  forcing, resisting, expecting, controlling, fighting and not allowing, accepting, releasing, loving, and trusting God with?  Gratitude is just a heart shift away.

Longfellow qoute

    “Into all our lives, in many simple, familiar, homely ways, God infuses this element of joy from the surprises of life, which unexpectedly brighten our days, and fill our eyes with light.”

 

Yes, I agree!  My favorite places to find God are  in sunsets, children and rainbows.  How about you?

Meditation

    I am a human being not a human doing.  God’s loving light penetrates and brings me peace.

Insight on anger

   I received an email with spiritual quotes.  One was especially insightful;  ”He who angers us, controls us.”  Wow, so true!  And a great reason to release my anger today.

The gifts of Christmas

                I’ve been reminded that joy, peace and light are the true gifts of Christmas.  A great reminder for me to get in the proper perspective early in the holiday season, before frantic, hectic, crunch time.  These 3 gifts are truly what Christmas is all about, nothing more, nothing less.             

                I can allow my light to shine bright without getting burnt out at both ends, by remembering the importance of proper balance in all things.  This can easily be achieved if I throw perfectionism and expectation out the window where they belong.  Then I can experience more fully the blessed, sacred gifts of joy, peace and light, given freely to myself and to all!

No need for extremes

   I’m being reminded that taking things to extremes gets people in trouble.  There’s nothing wrong with the right or left, conservative or liberal, dark or light, black or white, up or down etc…  It’s the extreme that hurts us. 

  Practise- acceptance, tolerance, and balance for spiritually wise living, and for more freedom and opportunity to bloom!

“Don’t sweat the small stuff”

         Living this phrase has been a real challenge for me this holiday season.  Being peaceful, joyful, and kind no matter what my day brings is how I want to live.  In spite of hassles, irritations, problems, and foibles.  In the scheme of things  99.9% of my problems are “small stuff.”  Take for instance, I just lost this whole entry I typed a second ago because I hit a wrong button and now here I sit retyping a totally new entry because I don’t remember what I wrote.  I’ve been on the computer too long now, my shoulders hurt from shoveling snow today, I’m tired and hungry blah, blah, blah, “small stuff.”  

         I am grateful for so much; God’s peace, guidance and presence, first and foremost, my family and friends, my home, my job, our adoptive baby to be,  and for this forum to share my thoughts with all of you!  It’s all good.  God bless.

Christmas Bliss

    It’s the day after Christmas and I have a moment to sit and bask in the afterglow of a wonderful day spent with family and friends.  Most important I can reflect on the true meaning of Christmas; the Light of Christ coming to earth to be with us all!  We are truly blessed.  Today I can say that the light and love of Christ are my peace and joy.  God has seen me through many trials and challenges and kept me safe thus far.  These days I am aware of God’s eternal presence in my life and what a complete and utter gift that is!  Darkness descends, as it will, since I’m human, but my own awareness or focused attention on Christ’s light, brings joy swiftly back.  I only need to get my priorities straight.  “With God at the center, everything comes together!”  How true.  Christ’s light lives forever.  I just need to remember not to turn away.

So thankful for new days

    Yes, some days are good, very, very good; like the day after Christmas and its warm afterglow simmering in my heart.  The next day was not quite as good.  In fact I had a meltdown like a 3 year old.  Let’s just say things weren’t working out well for me then my mood spiraled downward bringing certain things to a head that needed expression.  It wasn’t pretty and I am not proud of this.  Luckily those that saw forgive and still love me

      I went to bed that night feeling almost like wanting to die and awoke the next morning with clarity, peace, ease, and simplicity in regard to answers for the day before dilemma’s, new ideas, new hope and good reasons to live.  All I have to say is what a difference a day makes.  I thank God for each new day and pray to Him/Her to light my way, always.  Sometimes God’s answer is to wait for a new day.

Albert Einstein quote

  “When the solution is simple, God is answering.”

     How perfectly put!  I always try to thank God for those smooth flowing days I have once every so often.

Welcome in New Year 2010!

         To embark on the new year with a sense of hope, joy and wonder,  I release all fear of change, and of the unknown.  I will have light and love to guide my way, if I so choose to follow.  The choice is in my hands, and I know the best choice is always that which is in the highest good of all involved.  My choices need to be honest, clear, kind and forgiving, not outright malicious or hurtful in any way, no matter how “valid” that may feel in the moment.  I release any need to “get even” this year, recognizing prayer as my most powerful option.

             For a beautiful new year I will keep the focus on faith not fear for, “…grace has kept me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”

More to let go of..

I thought of some more things to let go of in the new year adding to my fear of change and fear of the unknown;

I can let go of insecurity with courage and faith, 

Let go of despair with gratitude and courage,

Let go of hopelessness with openness, faith and wonder,

Let go of grief with patience and faith,

And let go of bitterness with tolerance, forgiveness, acceptance and faith.

By letting go of all that could possibly hold me back, I move forward joyfully into the new year with the confidence and faith of a nurtured child.

Dear God,

         I totally believe in being honest, in getting to the truth of who we are.  Then all our hang-ups diminish, and we become clear channels.  When Divine light, love and energy can easily move through us we become healing agents for the world.  The point is to listen to ourselves.  To let our voice be heard.  And if we can’t find a safe and friendly ear, then write.  Write to God and know that He/She cares and is listening.  Listening to ourselves is valuing who we are.  It is a loving act.  We may have been told by the misinformed that our thoughts and feelings are meaningless and don’t matter because they are not real, since they don’t take up physical space.  We need to let go of the opinions of the misinformed.

Making peace with my job

      My job as medical receptionist *chance to help people by practising spiritual virtues in a challenging atmosphere;*

 - being kind

-  being patient

- biting my tongue

- not gossiping

- being positive

I am thankful for the chance to regularly practise virtues that make me stronger, helping me evolve in perfect time.

If I feel I’m in a box, only my thinking needs to change and my box will fall away.

My job is perfect for me.  A real challenge to maintain my spiritual equanimity.

God obviously thought I was up for the spiritual challenge, so I must be!

Got Heaven?

     Heaven is peace, love, truth, connection, joy, every wonderful feeling, without any pain.

     We become ready for heaven through the process of “letting go.”

     Why wouldn’t we all just choose heaven right now?

      For many, drama, aching, striving, desire and pain are the only way of feeling alive, having forgotten the good.

     Heaven is a conscious choice to remember how good it feels to feel good!

     I am on the path to remembering heaven.